Why Go to Heaven
by Siri Kat
Summary: PG13 as of yet swearing The Marauders changed in their 6th year. No one knows exactly why, but Dumbledore takes a wild guess. Bargaining the past, present and future of the world, he sends our favourite trio back to get the Marauders on track.
1. Serious Musings

Why Go to Heaven

'_If I should die today, tell my wife I said hello.'_

_Futurama_

Prologue- Serious Musings

The day dawned dark. That was something that he had always wanted to say. It seemed so blunt, something that, when said to first years, could make them shiver at least a little bit. Unfortunately, Sirius had never found what he felt to be the opportune moment to say the aforementioned phrase, and for Sirius Black, timing was everything. It was also nothing at the same time though. This was because, as everyone knows, things said or done at the exact wrong time have an alarmingly stronger affect than things said at the exact right time.

Sirius was rudely interrupted from his vague musings by the deep tenor of his best friend, and suspected true brother.

"What the fuck are you thinking about, Sirius?" questioned James, running a worried hand through his already messy hair, "You've got a frown about a fucking meter long on."

Sirius just shrugged, knowing that James would interpret it correctly as him not wanting to talk about it. It wasn't the fact that they were currently in Charms class that made Sirius reluctant to share his thoughts, nor was it anything deeper. He just, simply, didn't feel like talking. For Sirius Black, this was something very alarming indeed.

James shot another puzzled glance at his long-time friend before casually reclining in his school chair. Once in a casually reclining position, he casually yawned, allowing him to oh-so-casually catch a glimpse at the redheaded girl sitting diagonally in front of him. He could see the light glinting off of her hair, the pail ivory skin that looked so soft, the way her dainty shoulders were tensed, as though aware that someone was watching her…

Lily Evans rolled her eyes in exasperation as she heard Potter let out a huge, fake yawn behind her. Didn't he realise that she KNEW that every time that he yawned, he stole a glance at her? He'd been using that stupid yawn for the past 5 years, and it STILL wasn't fooling anyone. She whipped her head around angrily, knowing that she wouldn't be able to concentrate on Professor Baumer's lecture on the principles of charming trees until stupid Potter stopped staring.

The Potter in question, upon meeting the angry emerald eyes directed his way, flashed a cheeky grin (complete with a wink) and waggled his fingers at the annoyed 6th year girl. Upon looking away though, James exchanged a worried glance with Sirius' present girlfriend over Sirius' head. Sirius' current flavour of the week was…interesting, to say the least. She seemed to be the exact opposite of what Sirius usually looked for, with her perscriptionless glasses complete with circular blue-lenses, and her maroon-died hair. Sirius had never hung onto a girl for longer than a month, which, considering the amount of dates he'd been on was quite the accomplishment. Kitty (which Sirius' girlfriend insisted was her real name) was a hippy, in every possible sense of the word.

Kitty sighed, considering the side of her boyfriend's head. He really did have cute ears-honestly. She didn't know why she was going out with Sirius "I-date-5-girls-a-month" Black, of all people. It was quite likely that their relationship would end within the next few days, so she wasn't in it for the long run; Merlin knew that Sirius was definitely NOT a considerate boyfriend, and Merlin also knew that she didn't care about him as much as she should. Ah well… she let a silly grin slip onto her face, thinking about how good Sirius was in bed. Now that she was thinking about it, Kitty realized that sex pretty much WAS the only reason her and Sirius' relationship hadn't crumbled like a crushed cracker yet. The sad thing was that she couldn't bring herself to care, instead allowing her eyes to glaze over as she considered her plans for that evening.

Disclaimer: I own it all, actually, and I'm being paid 150 pounds a word. Just kidding, obviously. If you'll look at the previously mentioned, underlined word, you'll notice that this is a DISclaimer. This means that someone ELSE owns some parts of this story. Bet ya can't guess what! Unless, of course, you've read the Harry Potter books, in which case you'll know that Lily, the Marauders, and any other characters that are awesomely great are J.K's.

Authors Notes: Yes, I realize that this chapter is extremely dull and boring, but it is also necessary to set the stage and so on. I'll get more out soon, but I can't promise anything. I plan on making this story the first of a 4-book series. If anyone out there has too much time on their hands and has the absurd urge to be a beta for me, it would be MUCH appreciated.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Loony, Loopy Lupin

Why Go to Heaven

Chapter 1

'Every good ending has to be surprising, yet inevitable.'

Loony, Loopy Lupin

Remus Lupin refrained (barely) from gritting his teeth at the group of Ravenclaw 2nd years that were blocking the hallway. He knew that he was over-reacting, but he had places to go. Namely, he was late for a Prefect's meeting, something that was so oxymoronic and unforgivable in itself that he had to refrain from taking 5 points from Gryffindor.

Remus let a whispered curse escape his lips as he realised that he would have to wait for the staircase to finish changing before continuing down on his way to the 4th floor. He stood on the top of the steps, tapping his foot anxiously before running for all he was worth down the carpet-covered stairway.

When Remus finally arrived at the Prefects meeting, he was 10 minutes late and out of breath. Lily Evans shot Remus a glare that could freeze fire or boil water as he tried to catch his breath. Instead of looking ashamed or explaining himself, Remus decided that sticking his tongue out at Lily was much more suiting of a Marauder like himself. Lily huffed and turned herself away from him.

Meanwhile, the Head boy (Jeff McRae, a Hufflepuff 7th year) was outlining the second order of business.

'Dumbledore has decided to accept 3 exchange students to the school this year, as a part of this year's school theme- Understanding Creates Unity. They are Phillip Morrison, from Australia; Cody Westwood, from Canada; and Atlanta Juthemburg, from South Africa. They shall be going into the 6th year so I'm leaving it up to our 6th year prefects to make them feel welcome no matter what house they're put into,' here, Jeff shot a glare at Remus and the two Slytherin 6th year prefects, 'They should be arriving today at around supper time, at which point they shall be sorted and then have the weekend to settle in and such.'

Remus rubbed his chin thoughtfully for a moment. He'd have to somehow get James and Sirius to like the new exchange students; otherwise he'd have too much on his hands trying to get them to leave the foreigners alone. He hoped that none of the boys were sorted into Gryffindor- it'd be too difficult to try and keep his monthly secret now that all of the 6th year boys in his House went together on the full moon.

By dinnertime, all of Hogwarts knew of the exchange students and were tingling with anticipation to meet them. As the students piled into the Great Hall, everyone noticed the 3 teenagers leaning against the wall against which the 1st years were usually lined up.

When James got to his normal place almost directly in the centre of the Gryffindor table, he contemplated the three newcomers. One of the boys was reasonably tall with brown curly hair, whereas the other was short with sandy-brown locks. The girl was pretty, but not stunning. She had bleach-blond, stick-strait hair that went down to just above her shoulders. The three of them were conversing quietly and seemed to be vaguely amused by something.

Cody refrained from bursting out in laughter for the 3rd time while pulling one of Phillip's curls and watching it re-coil itself.

'They're like springs!' He exclaimed delightedly, reaching for another curl.

'Harry, you're acting like a two year old. Stop that,' sighed Atlanta, reaching out to slap Cody's wrist.

'Awwe, Hermione… you're no fun,' whined Cody, doing his best puppy-dog face.

'C'mon Harry, we've known that for years- no need to point out the obvious,' said Phillip with a wink at Atlanta to let her know that they were just joking.

'You boys are just,' but what boys were they never found out, for Dumbledore had just stood up from his seat and cleared his throat.

'My dear students, may I introduce Phillip Morrison, from Australia; Cody Westwood, from Canada; and Atlanta Juthemburg, from South Africa. They'll be joining the 6th years for this year and I expect them to get a warm welcome from all of you.'

At this point, Professor McGonnagul walked up to where the exchange students were with the Sorting Hat in her hands.

'Just put this on and it'll tell you where to go,' she explained briskly, looking as though she didn't know how to act in front of the three children.

Phillip stepped forward and took the hat from the stern professor, jamming it firmly on his head as he sat on the little stool.

'_Ah, so you were a Gryffindor, I see. Hmmm…well, though the path of righteousness is not always clear, do try to stick to it. Even in the fog it is there, Ronald Weaseley.'_

Phillip started and was about to say something to the Hat, but before he had a chance, it shouted out, 'GRYFFINDOR!' for the whole hall to hear. He hopped off of the stool, pleased that he could finally join his new classmates. Once seated, carefully away from the Marauders so that Harry wouldn't have to face them yet, he looked up anxiously to see Atlanta being sorted.

Atlanta took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, getting ready to face the Hat for the second time in her life. As she sat primly on the stool, she hurriedly jammed the hat onto her head, noting that it was much smaller than in her first year, despite the smaller amount of hair that she currently had.

'_Hmmm…Miss Granger. You always were a tough one to place, weren't you. You have the mind of a Ravenclaw, the soul of a Hufflepuff, the ambition of a Slytherin, and the heart of a Gryffindor. Although you don't always let your heart win, it is your strongest point. And so, I shall stick to my previous (or future, depending on how you look at it) decision._ _Off you trot to _GRYFFINDOR!'

Atlanta concentrated on transmitting her thanks to the Hat for putting her in the same house as she new that her two best friends would end up before taking the Hat off and handing it to Cody.

Cody took a deep breath, hoping that this round with the Sorting Hat went better than the last one. He refrained from allowing his eyes to wander over to where he knew that his parents were sitting, not sure if he could take it before he took on the Hat. He didn't know if he would argue with the Hat this time… he was secure enough in himself being a Gryffindor that he didn't need some old rag to tell him to go there, and maybe it would be good to see the other side of Hogwarts. He wasn't sure if he could see Bellatrix Lestrange without cursing her, but even so…

Before he even put the hat on his head, Cody could hear it whispering in his ear.

'_Harry Potter, we meet again.'_

'_Put me in Slytherin already. I know that you want to,'_ thought Harry petulantly.

'Ah, but you don't really want to be there. I won't let you hide from your parents. You know that Gryffindor is the only place for you now.'

'_PLEASE don't put me in Gryffindor. I don't want to face them. If they don't like me when I'm in Slytherin, I could chalk it up to house rivalry. Please, I don't know what I'd do if they rejected me…'_

'_Is that really what you want? You still have the cunning of Slytherin, but I don't think that it would work with what you have planned, or that you could survive without your friends. You should hold on to them, by the way. Through thick and thin.'_

'…_Alright then. If that's truly what you think, I suppose that Gryffindor _would_ be a good choice.'_

'_Very well then, I'm glad that we agree on _GRYFFINDOR!'

As Cody took off the Hat, he could almost feel the satisfaction coming off of it in waves.

Author's Notes: Stupid people who don't review! You're all making me into one of those review-addicted freaks…maybe I should start up a 'Reviewaholics Anonymous' group. In case any of you are confused, I decided to use only the trio's pseudo-names for narration to minimize the confusion. Again, anyone with odd urges to become my Beta, it'd be muuuuchly appreciated. Please review and thanks for reading.


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